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Why We Resist Change: Understanding “Competing Commitments”

Based on Chapter 2: “A Collective Immunity to Change”

Why do people say they want to be healthy… yet keep doing the very things that make them sick?

Dr. Deppert introduces a powerful concept from psychology: competing commitments — the hidden beliefs and habits that sabotage our goals.

He writes, “Every excuse that popped into your head… is your competing commitment.”

What Is a Competing Commitment?

It’s the internal tug‑of‑war between what you say you want and what your subconscious is protecting.

Examples:

  • “I want to quit smoking” vs. “Smoking calms me down.”
  • “I want to lose weight” vs. “I don’t want to meal prep.”
  • “I want to sleep better” vs. “I scroll my phone until midnight.”

These aren’t failures — they’re patterns.

Why Change Feels Hard

Humans avoid discomfort. Even positive change feels threatening because it disrupts routine, identity, and social norms.

As the book explains:
“A group’s desire for change is undermined by a shared, subconscious goal… avoiding social discomfort or maintaining group cohesion.”

Translation:
If your friends eat junk, drink heavily, or avoid exercise, you’re more likely to do the same.

How to Break the Cycle

  1. Name the competing commitment.
    Awareness dissolves resistance.
  2. Build accountability.
    Dr. Deppert writes, “Find a few friends that are of the same mindset.”
  3. Schedule your success.
    Change doesn’t happen by accident — it happens by appointment.
  4. Replace “I can’t” with “I choose.”
    Language shapes behavior.

The Takeaway

You’re not broken. You’re not weak. You’re not unmotivated.
You’re simply human — and humans resist change until they understand why.

Once you identify your competing commitments, you unlock the ability to transform your health permanently.

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